Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Latest Daguerotypes from the Voyage of the Prius



T eats an apple for breakfast. Love this picture.



The kids and their favorite two non-human things about Gays Mills: Blue, and the 4-wheeler. Which really needs a name.



The kids and one of their favorite humans in Gays Mills: Grandpa. He's a lot less scary here than in the video.



T' hair, and the artist who sculpted it: Auntie Jayne, the other favorite human in the Kickapoo Valley.



Liam, youngest cousin, son of James and of Sara. Seventeen months old. We held his hands up to Tie's hands, and the thumb and pinky are of the same size. The other three are shorter than Tie's, but it won't be long. She'll be on his lap in the very near future.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Har She Blows

With no further ado: Roadtrip - The Film.



OK, here's some further ado.

The trip was fantastic. Met Jayne's boyfriend Brian, who appears in the video and who is just the swellest guy. Did a lot of roaming around in the incredibly fecund and vibrant natural world of Gays Mills, WI. Seriously - the birds you see are a darker, deeper hue, they come closer in to the house at the bird feeder, they call with a deeper and more intense trumpeting sound...In any given five-minute span, I could have stood at the end of my Dad's driveway and seen a bald eagle, a sandhill crane, Canada geese, and a pileated and red-breasted woodpecker, all of them (except the geese) nesting within a few hundred yards. It was like being on safari. I didn't appreciate it when I lived there - I feel like now I should go back there just to soak it all in.

The kids loved the 4-wheeler. I took them up over the hill and showed them the exact spots where I killed the two deer whose skulls adorn our stairwell. Q in particular was absolutely rapt when I told him about them, particularly the one I had to trail for several hours before I finally caught up to him. However, when my Dad gave me the .22 rifle he bought when he was a gradeschooler for $16 and I ran outside to shoot it, I shouted over my shoulder, "Q, wanna go shoot a gun?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "No, no way," he said. But Tie leaped up from her Barbie dolls. "I DO!" So she and I walked out to where the garden used to be and put some holes in a plastic ice cream pail lid.

The secret to a successful all-day drive is to go no more than 525 miles, and to do so with at most 3 stops, 2 if possible. Eat on the move - why sit in the restaurant when you can sit in the car and gain 1/2 hour? Also: Drive a car that lets you stop pretty much only because you have to pee. On our good days we were on the road by 7:00 AM and out of the car by 4:30 or 5:00. We did have one bad day, where I hurried out of the house without getting the kids to the bathroom, and Tie wet herself as she slept 40 minutes later; then we had to stop to buy a cooler for the venison Dad sent us home with; then again for lunch, early, because I had a splitting headache and had to stop the car anyway to dig out my medication from the back; and again to get gas, because I had neglected to do that at the lunch stop, possibly addled by my headache; and at the end I stayed on 80 instead of veering off on 90 to where the hotel was, thus tacking another hour onto an already long day. That one was bad. The other 3, though, were peaches.

I've spent 3 evenings now on the film and the uploading and the blogging, so I have to knock it off now. I'll titilate y'all with some more witticisms at some future date. It'll be worth the wait, I promise.

Safely Returned - Film at 11

That's probably quite literally true - I have completed the editing of the Road Trip Montage, and it will probably be up by 11:00 tonight. We are all back and healthy, and had a grand time. You'll see. I'm going to try to get the resolution level up - don't get your hopes up, though. I'm not very good at this stuff.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Four's Pretty Good, Too

Because that is how old T just turned. And so, with no further ado, I give you...T' Birthday Montage. Q plays a key role in the film, both as T' footman when she's first getting dressed for the party (theme: "Dorothy"), and at the end, when he shows why we don't have him memorize our credit card numbers. Enjoy.



Here's a closeup and detailed shot of just how adorable this little girl is when dressed as Dorothy. Here, she's waiting for her guests to arrive at the Youth Center:



And here's the cake, with T in anticipation in the background. That's a collector's edition Barbie there, whose shoes do not stay on under any circumstances. I think we'll wind up supergluing them:



All right, that's it. Off to bed. This time next week I'll be just arrived in Wisconsin, after two days in the car with the kids. That is to say, I will be insane. So it's been nice knowing you - see you on the far side of some serious therapy.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Three...It's the Magic Number

For T, who just went to bed on the last night of her three-year-old-hood. She's been aware of it for days - telling us each morning, "There's only two more days when I'm going to be three." Or other numbers, depending on the day. Today there was jubilation, as this was her last morning, her last lunch, her last supper, etc., as a three-year-old. We, meanwhile, ahve been mourning the same transition. For her, as a joke, but in our hearts, very much for real. Three-year-old T is all but gone, asleep in her little room. Tomorrow we'll wake up and there'll be some four-year-old. It's sad.

But she's going out with a bang this week. Thursday, Tie's daycare, which has recently freed itself of the clutches of Childcare of the Berkshires and thus become a far, far happier place, celebrated its newfound liberty by inviting Otha Day, a local drummer affiliated with the college and whose name is very commonly misspelled by otherwise well-meaning people, put on a workshop of several days, culminating in a huge jam session, which Mami and Q attended. Here's how it looked from the ground:



And here's what Otha saw, more or less:



Following the performance, the kids sat in dazed rapture and ate of the goodness of the land, brought forth by the assorted adoring parents for the day's festivities:




This weekend also saw the third time that Milke of Amnesia, our Team Trivia...team, took the field against Williamstown's best and brightest at the Berkshire Nursing Families Team Trivia Night. Here are the excited competitors, steadying themselves for the competition with Janneke's cocktails, named, of course, Milk of Amnesia. In this photograph, Janneke, expert in Russian culture, literature, language, and history, explains just how long Rasputin's hair was, using a teammate as a model. (Note the stickers sported by each member, provided by T and procalaiming our intellectual superiority. They say, "I can Read"):



Across the kitchen, the science specialists, Mark and Ronadh, were bringing us all up to date on the latest in the geosciences, in which both are expert:



While Brad and Betsy, PhDs in music and education, respectively, do some expounding of their own:



Leaving me, the only non-PhD in the group. The wild card, as it were - the man with the Degree from the School of Hard Knocks. I mulled over the odd little facts gleaned from a lifetime of swashbuckling, of both the literal and the metaphorical variety. I knew we would need something extra - book-learnin' just wouldn't be enough.

Here we are in line to register. Numerous people made friendly comments about our uniforms, many having seen them last year, when they carried us to victory on the strength of the last question. Others, though, seem put off, and walk on by us without saying anything at all, steely-eyed and determined. You could cut the tension with a knife:



Once inside, we discovered that our table, #15, was located RIGHT in front of the emcees' podium. A place of honor, no doubt, reserved for the two-time returning champions. The trophy had made its way from mark and Ronadh's that same night, and been placed at the front to inspire us all.



On the way in, though, Brad had sent shock waves of remorse and regret through all our souls when he realized, too late!, that we should have bought a seventh shirt, and clothed the trophy in it. It was a stroke of genius. But the only way to make it come true, this crazy dream, would be to win the whole shebang again. More than any of us dared hope, I feared.

Indeed, many, many were hoping for our downfall. Mostly in a playful way - there was even one team that came in uniform!, playing along in the spirit in which our own duds were intended. We got much such positive energy from friends and acquaintances as we went to collect our dinners from the buffet line and bought our drinks. But there were indeed those whose energy was less than positive, including an older woman who simply turned to say to me, as I laughed about past victories with a friendly stranger: "Well, you're not going to win this year." I began to praise her for her energy, trash-talk back with her playfully, but she turned her back and stomped away before I could get much out.

I returned to our table. "We are the litmus paper of goodness, and of ill," I said to my teammates. "Dark and dreary people react to us in dark and dreary ways, while folk of good cheer see themselves in us, and their hearts are gladdened." The others nodded solemnly, then whooped to the ceiling like banshees and tossed back a Sam Adams.

Which had been bought for us! Twice, anonymous benefactors bought us a round of the golden nectar, which we celebrated in photographical form:



At another point, I sneaked back to the bar and, urged on by my teammates, bought a round on the sly for the other table that had uniforms on. I looked at what they appeared to be drinking - two Heinekens, a Sam Adams, and a couple of white wines. Figuring they'd like to keep on with the same, I left instructions with the bartender and scurried back to the table.

Where we began answering trivia questions like our lives depended on it. Sixty seconds per question, five per round. A total of seven rounds. Read on, friend, and tremble, for such was the challenge laid out before us:

What was the first American broadcast television program to show an interracial kiss?

What information can be had about a person by scanning them with a Brannock Device?

In the Mel Brooks movie "Silent Movie", one actor speaks. Who is it?

What Oscar winner was Tommy Lee Jones' roommate at Harvard?

Four Presidents were born in the same county in Massachusetts. What is the name of that county?

Who was the most recent of the four?

What essential item was produced for the Civil War in mills in Clarksburg, MA?

What was the first soundtrack to go gold as a record?

What is Elvis Costello's real name?

It went on and on. And after seven rounds, all of us were exhausted. Look upon this crowd and see the suffering:



Indeed, our spirits were flagging, and we were wondering if we'd have enough in us for the final question. When the bartender approached our table and began to plop drinks down before us - a Heineken; another Heineken; a Sam Adams; a white wine' and another white wine. The other uniformed table! They were on to us! We grabbed the drinks like they were life-giving water in a scorching intellectual desert, and thus were brought back to form. What goes around, my friends, definitely comes around.

We listened to the scores as they were read off: Milk of Amnesia was in fourth place, with 48 points. The top team was five points ahead. The last question: Put a list of 6 historical events in correct chronological order.

Teams had three minutes to answer, and could wager any number of points, including up to all of them, on their answer. If the people ahead of us wagered everything and won, we could not win; if we wagered less than everything and were right, a team from behind might catch up. We had no choice. No matter how sure we might be of our answer, we resolved to bet it all.

These were the events:


Communist Manifesto first published
1812 overture first performed
The Louisiana Purchase
Maine becomes a state
First transcontinental railroad finished
The voyage of the Beagle

Milk of Amnesia sprang into action. Mark knew the date of the Beagle; Janneke knew that the 1812 Overture was a trick, that it was actually written and then performed at the end of the century. The Communist manifesto and the transcontinental railroad were troublesome; also the Louisiana Purchase and Maine were problematic - we knew they were close, but weren't sure how close, or in which order. To be honest, I sat this one out, pretty much. I had done my work earlier - a lot of the questions above were ones I remembered, because I had known them. I had contributed greatly to the 48, but the rest would not be up to me - this wasn't my strength. My benefit to the team now was that I knew when to keep quiet and let the experts do their work. I'd seen them do it before - it was a sight to behold.

We handed in our answers and clinked our glasses. "No matter what happens," we decided, "we've got guts." We didn't say "guts", but the same meaning was pretty much put across.

We sweated and cringed and squealed through the reading of the final order, and calculated just how many tables, and which, in the sea of competition behind us were shouting jubilantly. It was tough to tell. To be honest, I can't even remember the final order. All I know is that this was the result:



Out of deference to my teammates, I will not post the video of them dancing their victory dance. Today. (I haven't put music to it yet.)

Now, if you'll excuse me: I have to see a man about a shirt.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Weekend So Far

What a crazy weekend it's been so far. Where to begin...

After everyone was free of all their workday obligations yesterday, we all went to Brad and Betsy's for Manhattans, conversation, dinner, and a movie. The kids watched the movie, and we ate the dinner. Great time. We invariably have a great time with those guys, and last night was no exception. Home by 10:00 or so, where we dumped T into bed and giggled with Q through the brushing of teeth and such. Excellent evening.

We watched "Spirited Away" this morning instead of cartoons. Janneke and the kids had seen it at some point, but I never had, so Brad sent it home with us. It is absolutely stunning, both visually and in terms of the sheer power of the creator's imagination. I'm always amazed by people like that, who seem to simply gush ideas, and create worlds that are completely new. Or seem it, anyway. Nice morning.

Janneke off to do the shopping with T, and Q and I to stay at home and begin to clean the house. We got a lot of cleaning done - places where we ordinarly don't get to on a weekly basis. It's nice to be in a clean house, though we didn't get it top to bottom.

I then went to run some errands - but before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this story:

Thursday I went to pick up the shirts for Team Trivia Night. We had "Champions 2006, 2007" stitched onto the left shoulder of each shirt. Ronadh only agreed to go along with it if, should we lose, we agree to dedicate the right sleeve to the list of years in which we lose. And it shall be called "Losers", with the appropriate years below. I am psyched about that. But not as psyched as I am about the possibility of the three-peat. So I got to the store where we had them done at 2:50. They close at 3:00. The door was locked, and there was a sign on it: GONE ON VACATION UNTIL APRIL 7.

Team Trivia Night is April 5th.

I stood there on the street in North Adams, fists clenched, slowly turning green, my shirt and my purple pants beginning to bulge at the seams, and screamed the worst swearword I know to the heavens. Repeatedly. Then I screamed it again, and then a few more times. I also spun around, firing wild punches into the air, and jumped up and down and stamped my feet. When none of this changed the situation, I tried it all again, in a different order. Which didn't work either.

Then I drove to my doctor's appointment, screaming more in the car. Pretty much just that word, louder still, somehow. People in cars next to me at stoplights, separated from me by ten feet and two windows, jumped when I did it and stared at me. I stomped in to the medical building and registered with the doctor, and asked to use their phone. (We are the last American adults without cell phones, Janneke and I.) Janneke answered her office phone, and I told her in profanity-laced Spanish what had happened, and asked if she would please call him and leave a message to see if it might be possible for him to open the store up one more time before he leaves for Calcutta. And that if he didn't, I would murder him.

But a few minutes later, as I glowered in the examination room, waiting for Dr. Namkoong to come and look at my thumb, it ocurred to me that the lights had been on at Tunnel City Printing. If he went on vacation and left his lights on, he's an idiot. And he hadn't struck me as an idiot. Perhaps he was still there after all.

I drove back to the store after the doctor saw me, and the door opened right up. I must have uttered a hoarse yelp of happiness, because the proprietor, who had received Janneke's message, smiled at me from around the corner in the back of the store. "I wouldn't do that to ya," he said, and pointed at the counter, where the bowling shirts awaited me in all their turquoise glory. He's a one-man operation, and he'd had to step out to go to the bank.

In the end, then, it all turned out fine. He's a pretty interesting guy, with lots of dirt on local politicians and a native's view of North Adams' steady decline over the last thirty years or so. We stood there and talked (he talked - I hissed and screeched with my shattered vocal cords, but managed to be understood) for probably ten minutes, and I wished him a good vacation.

I'm still hoarse and coughing from my screaming. Which is a just and proper punishment.

So fast forward to this morning again. After Janneke got back from shopping, I ran off to do some errands - a run to the dump, the bank, the post office, the pharmacy, Wild Oats. And to drop off two books Betsy loaned me, as well as their uniforms for the aforementioned Team Trivia Night. Ronadh's coming to brunch tomorrow, so I can giver her theirs without having to leave the house.

Damn...It's late. Here's some AV fun to reward you for reading this far in without switching over to "Tunak Tunak Tun" on Youtube. (Which you really should go see, as soon as you're done here.)



Hobie in his new collar. He's got a gouge that needs to heal, so until it does, this is how he rolls.



T and her bunny ears, made at daycare. By the way, here's some T bilingualisms from recent days:

"Papi, ahora en la escuela estamos learning about mummies."

"Te acordas, Papi, en esa pelicula, los parents de esa nina estaban turned into pigs."

"Mami, eso es enough para postre?"

And she and Q, today, were speaking to each other in a language they're making up. Maybe they're just ditching the whole language thing completely and striking out on their own. God bless 'em, I hope they make it.

And, finally...it's time to see just how T and Q react to seeing the Lawrence Welk show, which you can see on the TV screen in the background. As you watch the video, see if you can see what technological advancement we've recently made.



That's right: 3-D. You are wearing glasses, right?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

More Interviews

Hey, folks - If you want to hear T explain, in Spanish, just why she does (or doesn't...? or does...?) want to read a story to us, or if you're curious as to just what sort of magazines Q reads at night, you have but to hit the button below. The volume might not be very good - I had it cranked and it still was a bit dim. But give it a whirl, what the hey. Don't cost nothin'.