T, coming home in the car from a skiing-related shopping trip, and feeling thirsty:
"Does anybody have a water bottle, or a glass of soda, or a beer?"
I got a million of 'em.
So here's the deal with things: Skittles has finished a ten-day stint on anti-parasitical goo, and the vet called today to say the latest present i brought over from her was critter-free. In the first two weeks we had her, she emptied the self-feeder once. And in the past week, she's emptied it again. She is growing like mad - she seems to go for a while getting heavier and looser of skin, and then she stretches. She's in a stretching phase now, and her skin's not as loose. She runs up and down the stairs all day, eating away, and shows every day just how much of a Maine Coon she is. Personality-wise, all the earmarks are there - the way she really doesn't like to sit in your lap, but will sit beside you and purr as you pet her for ever; the way she prefers to be with us, but not necessarily on us, parking under the table during supper to sit there and quietly snooze and purr...She has been such a great addition. I think I'll give her some tuna tomorrow. Go ahead, try to stop me. I dare you.
So, yeah: Skiing. We're going to go on Monday. The kids are scheduled for a day of lessons that will go from 9:00 to 3:00, with lunch served in the middle, and in the meantime, Janneke and I will zish down the slopes. She'll zish, probably - I'll do more of a "wuh-wuh-wuh-boom, shish-a-shis-a-crunch", until my pelvis finally splits or I brain myself on a tree. At which point I'll make other noises: moans, wheezes, assorted gurgles. I have never downhill skied, you see. Not once. In my life.
And Janneke hasn't done it since I've known her, so I'm about to be amazed by her in an entirely new way. So she and I bought some ski pants, and I got some mittens, and Q got some goggles. The rest, they should be able to make do with using the snow clothing they already have. I'm excited, and kind of nervous - though it looks pretty straightforward...
God help me.
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4 comments:
As another midwesterner planted in the East with no skiing experience, I'll give you this advice. Before you go on Monday, make yourself a safety orange vest with the words "ADULT LEARNER" clearly visible from the front and back. I'll be astonished if, at the end of the day, Q isn't a better skier than you. (2nd bit of advice, lose the poles until you get the hang of it. I spent half-an-hour going about 50 yards total until they took my poles away. Suddenly, I got it. . .)
"They took my poles away"...I'm picturing six or seven ski patrol sliding up, grim faces hardly showing through their stormtrooper-like masks. "Sir, you're going to have to hand those over." Christian passes one to the trooper on his left, one to the trooper on his right, and they whoosh away, leaving him desolate. (Cue howling winds.) Christian then wipes his nose on his mitten and slowly stands, pushes painfully off, continues down the mountain, sniffing back tears. Which are slowly replaced with a smile, and then a grin, and then a triumphant leap at the bottom, fists high, knees bent back; the leap is then frozen in mid-air. Roll credits.
So, how much is snow skiing like waterskiing? I did cross country skiing once my junior year of high school and was a pathetic mess on them. However, Tess makes it look easy... Perhaps she can tutor me some day.
As an athiest, are you allowed in invoke God for help?!? Just thought I'd ask what the etiquette is... : )
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