Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Let's Hang some Cats!

Here it is, folks - Lots of photographic evidence of the eveninig's festivities. As they say in Deuteronomy: Let the Parade of Pumpkins Begin!







Or maybe they said that in "Flashdance". One of the two.



Ain't them punkins great, folks? How about a hand for the punkins! And now - Here's Q as a skeleton:


And T as The Batman (this photo, due to T being terrified of the blacked-out face behind the skeleton masquerading as her brother and our inability to convince her, in that emotional state, to put her mask on, was actually taken post-trick-or-treating; hence the chocolate on the face):




And once they headed out, here's what it looked like:



Paige and Nichole came over to show me (I stayed home to hand out candy) Rafael, their little baby, done up as a monkey. So cute you could just about die...Successful evening, all told. No eggs, no toilet paper, no dead cats. Well, not many. A couple, sure. But not many.

NOW I remember - "The Passion of the Christ". That's where they said it.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Orange Tiger Finds Its Claws

Everyone gathered on the elementary school fields on Tuesday expected to see what they always see from the Light Blue team. It’s the same thing they’ve seen twice a week since August, the same thing that’s made them a dominant force in the Williamstown Youth Center First and Second Grade Soccer League dating all the way back to last spring. They expected to see Brady and Eli, weaving across the field almost at will, leaving collapsed and bewildered defenders in their wake and running up the score on the usually scrappy, but often disorganized, Orange Tigers.

The first twenty minutes of the thirty-minute tilt gave little reason to doubt that this would be the outcome. The Tigers, led as always by their rangy midfielder, Henry, were energetic, but uncentered; Brady and Eli swarmed around the net mercilessly, picking off errant attempts to clear the ball and firing them back on the goal. A steady series of substitutions at goaltender kept the orange team from being blown out, but at the twenty minute mark, the Tigers looked resigned to their fate. Q, the speedy defensive specialist currently taking a turn in net, had just been beaten for Light Blue’s second goal of the game on a gorgeous, sliding shot by Brady that sent Eli’s tackle-defying pass into the far corner of the goal. Jacob Allen, the Tigers’ most cerebral player, was cool as always, but grimaced and stalked off, hands on hips; Henry tossed his own hands in the air in disgust and marched to midfield as Light Blue jumped and danced for the second time, and surely not the last. The Tigers hadn’t even crossed midfield more than twice in the game, and nothing looked likely to change in the final minutes.

That’s when Coach Cody, the high school volunteer, made a change. Q moved out of goal and onto the sidelines, and the new kid, Casey, trotted out to take his place. Casey hadn’t shown much so far in the contest: little control on his kicks, little skill at handling the ball, not much speed. Q sat down in the grass on the sideline; Jacob Allen moved out to the wing, and Chris Shand dropped back to defend. “You kind of have to shift them around some,” said Coach Cody after the game. “It’s pretty random.”

Random like a fox.

Chris Shand, once relieved of the ball-handling duties that had perplexed him on the wing, took to defending like a fish to water, tackling the ball away from both Brady and Eli in the early going and booting it deep into the Light Blue end of the field, freed now from any need to put some touch on the ball.

“I like to kick it far,” Chris told reporters after the game. “It goes far.”

Light Blue tried everything to get past him – no team in the league passes as well as this one, and soon even Chris had a hard time keeping up. (“I’m tired,” he told reporters at the post-game briefing. “I want to go home.”) And eventually, as they have all season long, Light Blue succeeded in getting past the last defender once more, leaving only the goalie.

None could have guessed that Casey, the unassuming, nondescript six-year-old from Southworth Street, had arrived at the Williamstown Youth Center League with a birth defect. It was simply this: He was born without fear. Casey stole the ball away from the flashing cleats first of Eli, then of Brady, making spectacular, diving saves that left the sidelines cheering and the Light Blue team shaking its head in sudden bewilderment. Knees to the ribs, cleats on his hands, collapsing offensive players crushing every other part of him as he cradled the ball – nothing could wipe the contented smile off the new kid’s face.

And the cheering began to infect the Tigers with something they hadn’t felt in a while: Confidence, perhaps? Or, at the very least: Hope. The stifling defense for which they’ve often been known suddenly popped back to life. Sam Edge, all but forgotten for the first twenty minutes, began to put his trademark slide tackles to efficient use, popping the ball back across midfield with a regularity that brought wonderment from the crowd – as well as an admonition to keep his feet from Assistant Coach David Edge. Light Blue found itself going farther and farther into its own end to recover the clearing kicks that the energized Tigers were firing with increasing determination.

On the sidelines, a conference of sorts was happening between Q and itinerant assistant coach Joe Johnson. Sideline cameras caught some of the exchange:

“Q, look, see how Orange are all on defense? They’re crowded around the net, just trying not to let them score. Nobody’s on offense. But you’re down, 2-0. The Orange Tiger has got to get some goals. You know what I think? I think, when you go back in, your team needs you to be aggressive. Somebody’s got to get a goal here for the Tiger. I think it should be you.”

It was hard to tell from Q’s face whether the strategy was sinking in. He remained where he sat, cross-legged, hands on his chin, watching, inscrutable. And with five minutes to go in the game, Coach Cody called his name and sent him up to play midfield while the exhausted Henry fell back to defend.

As each Tiger dropped into his new position, you could almost hear a muffled, distant “Click!” It snapped through the crisp October air like the welcome crack of a long-suffering back. All the pieces, which had been on the board for months to little effect, were suddenly in place. As Light Blue was about to find out, Team Orange had found its identity.

Eli attacked the right side, but Henry and Sam Edge were an impenetrable wall. Eli tried to dribble through, but Henry denied him; he tried to go back they way he’d come, but Sam Edge knocked the ball away with a clean slide tackle that popped it right into the path of the oncoming Q, who already seemed to be going full speed. But when the ball hit his feet, he found another gear. And he wasted no time.

Q cleared the confusion with a quick boot to his right and a cut back to his left, past a surprised and off-balance Brady, who suddenly found himself outgunned in the speed department. Streaking from left to center, Q crossed midfield and made straight for the goal, Brady and now Eli recovering, moving up to try to cut him down. Fighting through a clutching Jacob Fink, Q closed to within five meters of the goal, gathered himself, and fired a bullet that caught goalkeeper Theo’s outstretched fingertips and glanced slightly upward - and into the back of the net. With one determined defensive effort, one deft pass, and one headlong yet somehow perfectly-controlled sprint, the Orange Tiger was back. What had looked like a blowout was now merely 2-1.

The celebration was furious, but measured – wide-eyed and bouncing, the Tiger gathered itself on its own end and waited for Light Blue – dared them – to put it in play again.

Brady, always unflappable, brought the ball forward, deciding to do as he’d done so many times before: take the bull by the horns. If anyone could carry this team to victory single-handedly, it was going to be Brady. And on he came.

From the way they ran, it would have been easy to assume that Q had handcuffed himself to Brady. First right, then left, from one sideline to another and finally down toward the corner, the suddenly inspired Q stuck with one of the best ball-handlers in northwestern Berkshire County like ugly on an ape, never losing sight of the ball and never giving up when a move found a crack in his defenses. Q has the speed to recover from most mistakes, and on this day, he had forgotten he even had brakes. “I ran really fast,” a still-excited Q told reporters after the game. “I think I’m almost as fast as kids in third grade. I’m faster than one kid in fourth grade. I beat him in a race one time.”

By the time Brady fired a crossing pass out to the middle, hoping to make something of his up-to-now frustrated run, the rest of the Orange Tiger had collapsed on him, and there was little hope his pass could find a friendly foot. Indeed, it found instead the ready instep of Jacob Allen, who advanced methodically down the right sideline and found Beau James across midfield, who turned and centered the ball…

…to Q. Somehow, some way, Q had recovered from his furious pursuit of the panting Brady, from deep in his own left corner, to midfield again, returning to the position he had now obviously been born to play, and found himself sprinting toward the goal again, picking up speed and finding a seam where others had been seeing nothing but a light blue wall for the previous twenty-seven minutes. The keeper seemed wide-eyed and disbelieving - It hadn't yet been ninety seconds since the last one! How could this possibly - "Here he comes...!"

One move. Keeper down. Goal.

Bedlam for the Orange Tiger. As the clock ticked down on the penultimate game of the season, Light Blue held its collective head and wondered at how they’d been so quickly and efficiently dethroned. And the Orange Tiger bounced to the lineup for post-game handshakes with a new sense of purpose. Everyone, it seemed, had found his place on this team. The Orange Tiger was ready to roar.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Halloween's Comin'...

That's the title of a song Q came home singing from his music class one year, and which we sing every Halloween around the Johnstadt home. Goes like this:

Halloween's comin',
Halloween's comin',
Hide your cats
Release your bats
Halloween scares you, too.
BOO!

I haven't figured out why it's necessary to hide your cats. I picture some sort of previously widely-known semi-tradition of catching and hanging cats on Halloween, and in fact odd little tingles of memory spark and snap waaaay back in my brain at the thought of it. Was that true? Did people used to do that? And did it make it into a children's song...? I fear for us all.

Anyway, in preparation, we carved up some pumpkins today. Q here re-enacts the opening of his pumpkin - I was too slow on the trigger to get the actual first opening, so he faked it for me right afterward. Note what a fine actor he is:



Here's the happy young man post-gutting:



And T also happily ripped the innards out of an innocent calabash:



Then we all set to, carving ourselves into a frothy tizzy. I copied an idea I saw in a hotel lobby on Friday - a large pumpkin biting a tiny one, and the tiny one is sad. In this photograph, I rest the tiny pumpkin atop my sturdy belly and scrape out its flesh with a spoon. It's titled, "Paunchy Papi peels a pumpkin":



In other news, Q has recovered his moxie in soccer. Shot four times on goal Saturday and scored once. My favorite moment was one of the missed shots - He wove through five, count 'em, FIVE, defenders before sending it wide. It was a rainy and muddy day, which somehow seemed to set his teeth on edge and set him afire. Today (Sunday) we did quite a bit of juggling outside (my new personal record for touches without the ball touching the ground: 14), and for the whole time, Q would be quietly getting better off on his own, no encouragement needed from me. Big fun. And he's now into playing goalie against the woodpile - he defends an ample range of pile as delineated by the end of the pile and our little red plastic teeter-totter, and I fire away at him from 15 yards or so. He wears winter gloves and really makes some very athletic saves. He's caught soccer fever again - just in time for the season to end. But we can keep playing 'til the snow - and keep juggling in the garage until spring.

T, meanwhile, attempted a cartheel on the couch today. Tumbled off at the end of it, landing on her behind and sending her head forward to collide with the corner of the coffee table. I'll get a picture up here tomorrow of the chichon she's got. We had a good half hour of comforting to do before she calmed down - and I admittedly didn't hold up through the procedure as well as I might have. The unreasonable nature of the demands started to send me over the edge - "I don't want any more ice!" "OK, you don't have to use it." "I DON'T WANT ANY MORE ICE!" "I'm not trying to make you use it!" "I DON'T WANT IT!!!" "There! I threw it away! It's gone!" "I DON'T WANT IT...!!" Janneke came in and took over when my voice got more shrill than Tie's. Best for all concerned. I had to find the ice and apply it to my own forehead at that point. But she's fine now, no complaints at bed time. We'll wake her up when we go to bed to make sure she's OK.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Mystic Pizza

Hola, amigos. What up? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things got crazy, if you know what I mean.

Crazy as in: Wild Weekend Misadventures in Mystic, Connecticut! Janneke and Ronadh headed down there Friday morning so that Janneke could give a talk at the Williams Mystic Institute or Whatever It's Called. Ronadh may also have Contributed in Some Fashion to Whatever It Is They Do. (Which looks super-cool - a semester in Mystic, studying all things nautical as they relate to an all-around liberal arts education. Wish I'd been able to do something similar in college.) But the long and the short of it was this: Both the Johnstadts and their friends had hotel rooms available for the whole family, paid for by the good folks at Williams. So we pounced.

Mark came and picked me up in Lenox after a hard day of professional development around 4:00 Friday afternoon, and we and the three children road-tripped on down to Mystic. We somehow managed to hit rush hour traffic in both Springfield, MA and Hartford, CT. Nice how they stagger them that way for the convenience of travelers. And T was threatening to be car sick for about half the time we were in the car, which was some 4.5 hours. Lovely. But, she never did go Code Red, so we all arrived in good spirits. Janneke's Talk had been well received, as evidenced by the comments of people we bumped into the next day. No idea what Ronadh did, or didn't do. But her doing or not was, doubtless, crucial. Hit the hay and arose to head over to the Mystic Seaport. Ahead Lies Evidence:



The boys climbed the big anchor, as boys are wont to do. T also tried; she'll probably be the best climber out of any of us once she develops her muscles a bit more. Fearless, she is. There was a pully apparatus there as well, which showed you how fifty pounds was a lot harder to pull into the air with one pulley than with two.



Very popular with all the kids: Let it go slowly, get a rope burn on your hands. Let it go completely, potentially lose an eye to the flailing rope. Either way: You look like a pirate. And there were plenty of pirate-type boats around, including the Morgan, the last still-extant American wooden whaling ship:



We climbed on and got serenaded with "Roll Alabama Roll" as they undid some sort of rope on one of the sails. It was neat, but kind of uncomfortable. We were the only people on the boat, really, getting a very vigorous sing-song from the assembled guides. They were pretty good singers, too, which kind of made it worse somehow. But in the end, I'd give that experience a thumbs-up. T explored the poop deck:



Do I know what a "poop deck" is? No. But I get to say the word "poop".

We were then treated to a ride in a boat around the river with Lisa, the oceanographer at the Williams Mystic Thingamabobber. She was super with the kids, and allowed each of them to drive:





Following the sea port, we hit a place that has the last steam-driven apple cider press still functioning in the US. It was a pretty nifty gizmo, filling a whole room with wildly thrumming overhead belts and drums and gears - an OSHA nightmare, but nifty for tourists. The kids were pleased with the experience, as well as with the beer keg they found in the woods behind them:



As were the adults, who made short work of the keg:



And then off to the Mystic Aquarium and Sea Adventure Land or Some Such, which is apparently the last surviving steam-driven American-made wooden municipal aquarium in the world. Janneke got this great film of a sea creature:



That thing was eleven feet across. They feed it roadkill moose. Nine per day.

As well as some sea lions, doing amazing, incredible things. Check out what happens at the very end - you won't believe it:



Incredible, no? Just amazing. Gross, yes, but impressive. Seriously, I had no idea they could do that. I mean, what could the evolutionary point of THAT have been?! Maybe the creationists are right - maybe they can do that because it's God's way of showing us His perfect nature and infinite power. That, at least, would make some sense.

Home! Supper! Mystic Pizza! Yes, we ate there. It's the last standing American steam-driven wooden pizza restaurant in the world. Long line to get in (20 minute wait), but once inside, the prices are very reasonable, service is fast, and the pizza is good. I give it a 9 out of 10. Deducted a point because they seemed completely unaware that a movie was once filmed there. "On The Waterfront", I believe.

Back home for bath time:



That, by the way, is the last remaining steam-driven American-made wooden bathtub in the world. And then to bed. We spent some more time at the Mystic Seaport this morning, and tried to take some potential Christmas card pictures. We'll see how they work out - won't include them here, because that would spoil the surprise. Of not getting one in the mail, I mean. Because you're not. Those we reserve for true friends, none of whom would be caught dead reading this piece of trash.

Headed home around 11:20, arrived back here some four hours later, thanks to some poor signage between 91 and 90. What a trip! What a weekend! What a LIFE we lead!

See ya...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Bareknuckle Shirtless Stand-up

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: The free-form comedy stylings of T C Johnstadt.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Clown head."

"Clown head who? "

"Clown head I dropped a ball on my feet and it messed up my clown feet."

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Volcano."

"Volcano who?"

"Volcano, um, I'm doing a fart. (Thpth.) There. I farted."

And that's just tonight. If I had a nickel for every gem like those two she's cooked up on the spur of the moment, I'd have...hmmm...carry the 7...I'd have, like, $1.30.

In addition to that talent, she's a tremendous wrestler, as Q can attest:



The raging fire in the background is sort of a wild card in any given bout. Seems every other day I come in to find the fight music from Star Trek blaring, and either Q or T doubled over backwards above the hot coals, with the other inexorably pressing him or her downward...I swear, if it's not one thing, it's three. (Click HERE to see what it sounds like.)

What are you reading this for?! GO TO BED!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Fight. For Your Right.

To paaaaaaaaaar-tyyy. Which we did today. Vast, vast quantities of partying.

We started off with a very strong day of soccer from Q. He has a gift for hitting the post - two shots today, one of the post, one off the goalie's hand. And then a long, arcing, twenty-yard shot for the heck of it after practice, trying for the goal. "PANGGG!!" Right off the post. It's getting to be kind of weird. But a very strong soccer day - he was very pleased. (I will keep my own reactions to myself.)

Mostly, though, we partied. I present to you: Evidence Thereof, consisting both of video and still images. The first comes from Zephie Gollin's birthday party, where Q and Owen did a pretty good job of representing maleness. Of some 14 guests, they were the only boys. Here Q shows the fairer sex just how a MAN does the riding thing. Check out this hyper-masculine, chest-thumping, bone-breaking thrill ride:



And you're right: that horse is smaller than some dogs you've known. By FAR the most popular mount at the event. Poor little thing...Name's Tonka. Killed a kid up in Canada, had to cross the border to avoid prosecution. Just happy to have a job, keeps his nose clean these days. You don't want to cross him, though.



Cake in the barn. What a great place, up in Shaftsbury, VT. Another of the horses:



This one's name was T, strangely enough. I told Q that he and this horse had two things in common. Both are Norwegian, and both have someone named T in the family.

This evening, we went to the Caretaker Farm End-of-the-Growing-Season Potluck, Contra Dance and Cockfight. Put on by Don and Bridget, the farmers at the CSA we're members of. Wonderful event for the whole farm community. T had cracked out the contradancing videotape we got at the last one we went to this morning, and had done a lot of practicing, recruiting the whole family into some dosie-does in the living room. So now, here's some evidence of the potluck:



And now, the contradance:



And now, some more of the contradance:



And now, finally, here it is: The cockfight.



Surprising, perhaps, that they don't escape from that ring. But if people are quick enough and kick hard enough, eventually they stop trying to get out.

And now...Off to dreamland AGAIN! Two nights in a row, I'm in bed before 11:00! Wow. This, I could get used to.

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Old and the Restless

That's us. Droopy and cranky, about to celebrate having a Friday night off by...going to bed early. Yee-haw! I'm all atingle with the excitement at the prospect of going unconscious. Blissfully, gloriously unconscious. Like death leading to Heaven. The difference being, this little death I'm a-headin' for tonight leads to pancakes. (Another difference: The pancakes exist.)

But first - two new items for any interested grandparents out there:

1. Q doing homework. Q got a 15/15 on his spelling test today, getting all three of the challenge words correct. I just knew he was going to crush that test - we drilled the other night, and he was a wall: Nothing got past him. Here's the much-anticipated action photo of his training leading up to the test:



Item 2: T internalizes the motion of her Magic Marker. Who'd have thought it could be so entertaining to watch a kid color a picture. But when you watch, keep an eye on both her hand, and her face, because the two are very intimately connected:



No sound in the video, nor in life - she just flips the tongue back and forth like that, breathing normally. Thank God for video cameras.

And pillows.

Monday, October 8, 2007

May All Your Columbus Days Be White

Ah, Columbus Day. The childhood memories it conjures up - The decorations, the lights, the cheer and goodwill that fill the streets. The parades, the speeches, the traditional midnight release of thousands of pigeons out the window of the servants' quarters at the Governor's Mansion, to carry messages of goodwill to all the leaders of the world. Kind of a weird tradition, that one, but one we used to stay up to watch on TV. Always a little hard to follow- I mean, it's at midnight. You can't see too much at first. But then come the bright flashes of the blasts from the shotguns of the assembled crowd, each person hoping for one of the candies that are attached to each pigeon's leg. It's a great holiday. Not well known outside Wisconsin, but some day it'll get its due.

But here, since we're not religious, we don't really celebrate the day any more, apart from taking it off from work. The kids got up and watched "Leminy Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events", which Q has seen enough times now to be immune to the bone-level fear he used to feel at the mere mention of its title. Rainy day, which always makes me drowsy - and the Packers' loss had me tossing and turning all night (literally - no joke, there), so today I was pretty droopy. Janneke took the morning and early afternoon to work, hoping to relieve me around 3:00 so I could go squirrel hunting with a guy from North Adams whose truck I saw sporting a squirrel hunting sticker, and on whose windshield I'd once left a note asking to be asked to tag along. (No joke there, either. That was truly the plan.) Once she'd left, we threw in "Planet Earth", the BBC series, and watched "Jungles". Great stuff - the New Guinean Birds of Paradise look like they should be on Mars.

The kids entertained each other most of the morning, and after lunch we went out to Stop & Shop as an excuse to get T to fall asleep in the car. Bought luncheon meat and eggs. Once home, Q and I watched the rest of the jungles episode (chimps go on a murderous raid against a rival band - pretty strong stuff). Then around 3:00, since the squirrel hunt was canceled due to the rain (Really! That happened!), Janneke stayed in to accompany the sleeping T and I took Q up to his riding lesson.

He's doing very well at that. Needs a lot of reminders, but who doesn't when learning something new. "Shorten your reins", "straight back", "don't let the horse stop unless you want him to", "swing the saber down and away from the horse's head", etc. He looks forward to it every week and spends the whole time with a big grin on his face.

Which you can't really see in this video:



Post-riding, I tried my hand (foot) at juggling a soccer ball, mostly to try to get a handle (footle) on just how it's done so I can give Q some pointers. I'd like to find more soccer-oriented things to do together. It seems like for all the enthusiasm he has for it, it's tough to get him to see any value in practicing the skills involved. And over the course of ten or twenty minutes, I really got a great workout. And developed a much more deft touch on the ball than I had at the beginning. Q was indeed intrigued, and came out and tried it for a while on his own brand-new ball, which matches my full-sized one in color - about five minutes' worth. But then he wanted to ride his bike, for about five minutes. And then he took out the lacrosse stick and practiced, for five minutes. And then the field hockey stick. And then the baseball bat...He is definitely not completely sold on any sport, but rather on playinig around in general. That, it seems, is just the way it's going to be, at least for now. And there's naught wrong with that - though it's frustrating to watch when his skills in soccer don't match his physical gifts, and he's left in the dust a bit by kids who are no more athletic than he. It's not about winning, I know. But I hope this doesn't end up meaning he feels frustrated and stops wanting to compete because he feels that for some mysterious reason, he can't. That would be a shame. Because there is no mystery to it.

T tagged along on each and every one of Q's activities, switching interests about twenty seconds behind Q each time. Which meant she got testy when there was only one lacrosse stick, only one field hockey stick, etc. But eventually Janneke came out with her full-sized stick, and then the two of them played out in the sodden yard on their own. Nice when their entertainment needs cancel each other out, and the parents can dash off to do some dishes.



"Twister" after supper, at T' request. (I just heard T go out to the bathroom for her third drink of water since being put to bed, by the way. It's all she can think of as an excuse to get up and move around, and she milks it dry. That diaper better be Huggies' answer to the Hoover Dam. And now she stands in her doorway and fake-coughs, then calls for medicine. No dice, we tell her. "Si vomito, voy a venir a decirte, OK?" Plays it to the hilt, does this one. "Muy bien, Tie. Buenas noches." Calling the bluff. I tell you - this used to be so easy...) Got a picture or two of Twister - T' reading of the rules is pretty liberal.



And now here we are, grumbling about going back to work tomorrow. Well, I'm grumbling about it. Janneke went back to work today already.

I'll be thinking of you at midnight, Wisconsin. Save a butterscotch for me.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Sunday Morning Coming Down

Fantastic song, written by Kris Kristofferson, recorded by Johnny Cash. Pretty much describes our day today in its first two lines:

"Well I woke up Sunday morning, with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt;
"And the beer I had for breakfast, wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert."

Except that our heads didn't hurt, and instead of beer, we had pancakes. T slept in until 7:30, which left us all extremely rested and happy. Tossed in a DVD of "Planet Earth", which we all enjoyed (though Mami left when an elephant was killed by lions), and then started in on some hard-core recreatin'.

Bike riding, a trip to the hardware store with T (who brought along her own shopping cart), lunch, another trip out to the sporting goods store to buy soccer balls and socks, nap for T, some soccer practice in the yard, more bikes - and then T' first play date ever, with a boy from down the street. Huge, huge fun.

And this video evidence of the next Justine Henin - I choose her, because like T, she is tiny:



OK, it's a baseball bat. But that is a tennis swing if ever I saw one. And the Russians have been training with bats for years.

We do sometimes put other clothes on her, by the way. It might seem like we've always got her in that Little House on the Prairie number, like we were some sort of cult with tow-headed, wide-eyed kids running all over, run by a grumbling, fiery-eyed, overdramatic polygamist patricarch with an Amish beard. But she wears all sorts of other clothes.

And so what if every one of those descriptors (except "polygamist") is actually true of us. Proves nothing.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Game Day

T doesn't know it's Saturday. She's up at 5:45, like every other day, but today, when there were no parents willing to cartwheel out of bed and sing to the dawn with her, she went ballistic. So not a whole lot of sleeping went on past 6:00. Q woke up crying, what with everyone else crying and growling, but soon found it was more fun to play, and joined T in some fairly quiet hijinks. Janneke was too awake at this point to bother trying. In short, they were all a bunch of sissies on the sleeping front. I was the only one brave enough to stick it out, and managed, through the power of my iron will, to fall asleep again, rolling out around 8:00.

So we were almost late for soccer practice. 9:00 sneaked up on us pretty quickly, what with the dog-walking and breakfast-eating. (I say "us", but I mean "me", since everyone else had finished with such chores over an hour earlier.) Janneke and T went to the coffee shop for the traditional soccer-day treats, while Q and I zoomed over to the field on the bicycle, Miss Gulch's theme song playing in the background all the way, my bandolier rattling against the handlebars, and Q hit the field for practice. Which always starts with drills. Here's one of them - they were supposed to roll the ball along using the bottoms of their feet. This, presumably, is for when they step in something (often an issue on this field), and need to get it off:



T was a very enthusiastic cheerleader. I kept telling her nobody would see the flame from her lighter, but she didn't care. It's the thought that counts, I guess.



Q took his turn on the sidelines, watching the action, offering encouragement to his teammates for a while, secretly hoping for a devastating injury so he could go back in:



And then...Showtime. Things to watch for: The kid who takes Q down...gets taken down himself.



OK, OK, I won't win a Pulitzer. But this footage is brought to you despite the untimely death of my batteries. Must be something about this field - it sucks the life out of AA's. But if it's a fair fight, if the batteries I've brought with me haven't been tampered with, I am not to be trifled with on this particular front. There's not a nimbler battery changer anywhere in north-western Berkshire County. (I'm not saying anything about northern Berkshire in general. There's a guy in Adams who's scary fast. I swear he's part insect. Doping is suspected.) Still, a pretty stirring bit of footage, in my humble opinion.

Speaking of stirring footage - check out this high-speed thrill ride:



Thank goodness she's wearing a helmet. And, yes: you can see her underwear through that dress. Thanks for asking.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

I Am That Guy

That guy who races around town, shooting through crosswalks ahead of pedestrians with his kid illegally strapped into her older brother's car seat, glancing down at the clock because she might be late for tumbling, smelly and irritated and cramped after so much time in the car after teaching five classes and rousting surly seniors out of corners of the hallways to finish up. This day, I am sorry to report, I am that guy.

But at least I have video. (Oh yeah - I'm that guy, too.) Here's T, paying her dues on the hardscrabble mats of North Adams, a tough town whose mean streets pump out competitive gymnasts the way some burgs do boxers:



But the real test is when the apparata come out. Here's where we separate the pretenders and the frauds from the cold-blooded killers, the wheat from the chaff, the whiners and nobodies from the contenders with the grit and determination of champions. Watch...if you dare.



The crucible where gymnastics stars in North Adams are hardened for competition is the semi-legal, always-controversial, one-on-one contest known as "The Meatgrinder." Two gymnasts. One mat. No rules. Go. This, folks, is not for the squeamish:



Home! Supper! Grab your trunks, Q - Swimmin' lesson time! My god, we are such an overprogrammed lot sometimes. Now, where North Adams is known for its gymnasts, Williamstown is a place where kids learn fast that to survive, you've got to be willing to do whatever it takes in the dreaded...Williams...College...Pool. There's a part in here where, I swear, the water is actually tinged with blood. Remember Czechoslovakia - USSR, water polo, 1968? This is worse. There's a kid you see floating in from the right toward the end of the video. I was there, man. They spent ten minutes reviving him.



Successfully showered, Q crows his victory. He kept his mouth closed for the smile to keep the pressure on the tooth we had just pushed back in. That Jakob Fink throws a mean elbow:



Hoo, boy. I tell you what. If our family were a movie, it'd be NC-17. Pick your jaws off the floor, people, time for bed. Come on, now, move along. Show's over. Nothing to see here.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Soccer Pictures

I don't have any. I went to Q's soccer practice today with the camera and, AND, a spare set of batteries, should the ones in the camera wear out suddenly. Which they did, just as I took the camera out to try to film some action. I chortled to myself and glanced smugly around to see if anyone was going to be witness to my lightning-quick battery replacement. I felt like a war correspondent, flipping through his equipment without even looking, my fingers knowing the machine as intimately as can be, spent batteries clattering to the ground in slow motion, like cartridges from a carbine. (I didn't drop them on the ground, though. Don't worry. I'm just being dramatic.) And when I flipped the switch to take a picture, expecting the whine of electric power to rise eagerly from my camera, nothing at all happened. The batteries I had just taken out of the package at home were DEAD! My GOD, what a jip!

But here's how it went: Q was his usual hyper-aggressive and sprinting self on defense. Dominant at that end. For some reason, when he's playing defense, he slips into a much higher gear than at any other time. He's always the last man back, anticipating where he'll be most needed and turning away the opponents. But lately, when they turn the other way and start heading toward the opposite goal, he pulls up, lets others take over. I'm not sure why this is - last year he was very aggressive, and effective, at that end of the field. This year he's been jogging or standing while his teammates score, clapping and smiling afterward, but not really contributing.

But not today. Three shots on goal in quick succession, all following steals and heady sprints across midfield, some very deft moves to avoid defenders, nice touch and control as he got close to the net. No goals, but the old Q definitely seemed to be back. Maybe on Saturday I can get some film on here for you - though it appears I'll have to wear a bandolier of AA batteries. Just like Chewbacca. Although, unlike Chewbacca, I will wear pants.

Probably.

For reference:



Chewbacca

T has had three (maybe four...?) straight nights without calling out endlessly before going to sleep. She's very proud of herself. She wakes up around 5:45 and turns on her light to start playing quietly in her room. When I get up, I dress her and we go out together to walk Hobie. Every morning she asks me to re-tell her a story I made up the other day, where Caperucita Roja is asked by her mother to go to the clearing to the white tree, which appears every hundred years and bears magical fruit, and which can only be seen by little girls. When she gets to it, Caperucita Roja sees that there are little girls from all over the world there, happily picking fruit from the tree, which glows. So Caperucita Roja picks an apple, and a pear, and a banana, and an orange, and some grapes. On the way home, she's hungry, but realizes she can't eat any of the apple, because her mother will know. Likewise on down the line with the banana, the orange, etc. But the grapes...! So she plucks one and snips off the stem and eats it, and to her amazement she finds that suddenly, she knows how to read! A while later on, she's still hungry, so she picks another one, and finds that, lo!, she knows how to drive a car! So when she gets home, she takes the car for a quick spin and then goes in to hand the fruit to her mother, who's none the wiser. The End.

I told Janneke this story and told her that the fruit is meant to be doled out secretly to the little girls over the course of their childhood by their mothers, and that it is thus that they acquire the knowledge they'll need as adults. And of course, Janneke raised an eyebrow and wondered aloud just what knowledge the banana might represent.

Let's keep it out of the gutter, please, Mami.